Angry Links

Angry Links Philosophy

The Web is the greatest Easter Egg Hunt created.

The little reviews reflect my appreciation of the various page's content rather than technical merit, simply because the test of something's mettle is to look through all the bells and whistles (also because I'm not qualified to make an informed critique of web page technique). If the reviews are a bit too long or if you think "there's too much to look at" I recommend channel surfing the TV.

I have a special dislike for someone who says, "I stopped reading [something] because I felt I had gained as much as possible already so there was no reason for me to read further." There's absolutely no arguing with that point, the person is correct. Of course, the person is also probably someone you don't want doing you any favors, nor do you want to have to depend upon such a person. People who approach everything from a rabidly mercenary viewpoint cannot be trusted to render good, informed judgements on anything simply because they tally up how much time they've spent on YOU and expect some sort of tangible return. Once they determine something has no "value" to them, it ceases to be of use and one's time needs to be spent elsewhere lest it be wasted. Unfortunately, these people don't know when to keep their mouths shut and end up telling everyone how much they disliked a book or movie when they only read half of it. (They were paying too much attention to how much time was spent reading rather on what was being said). Amazingly, these people have the patience to sit enraptured in front of the television for hours on end.

If you're someone who enjoys writing notes to people saying "...I got a copy of your essay but didn't have time to read it" I would ask you to stop. You are giving away that you have little respect for that person. And you're letting that person know that you're shallow, dull, and generally not someone to befriend, ever. (If the author replies that his work was only a couple of pages, how can you reply respectfully?)

On the other hand, if you're someone who understands that you aren't expected to "schedule" carefully rationed time slots for reading web pages, articles, books, what have you, then, please, explore these links, explore the web, look for "Easter eggs;" some of these pages are examples of master craftsmen and people with a genuine passion for history, art, technology, science, religion, etc. Contact them, write them e-mail letting them know what you think about their work. Get in arguments with them. Get in arguments with me, too! Develop long-term e-mail pals! You will become more educated and knowledgeable of the world and meet lots of interesting people.

I give you now,

The Angry Links...

Ink Nineteen Magazine
Web version of probably the greatest New Media Review in existence. More than 150 reviews of recorded music, film, food, current events and performance.

Balaam's Ass
The most incredible, eye-opening site there is. Its myriad links represent the most comprehensive sampling of the web one can find.

Germ Warfare
Jeremy Wernow's wonderful page celebrating heavy metal (exceptional tributes), living on boats, astro and geophysics, and occasionally prancing around as a cross-dressing mermaid. Also includes and extensive links library.

Radio Station WFMU!
WFMU is without question the Greatest Radio Station on Earth. I consider myself blessed, living outside of New York City, in that I can tune them in. Now, though, since 6 July 1997, WFMU is available 24-hours a day over the Web with RealAudio! Check them out and hear what you've missed until now!

Fitshaced Magazine
I am a firm believer in people being products of their environment. Had I been born in, say, 1968, and grown up in the Boston hardcore scene where I'd be able to cultivate my vilification for humans, the Axe and Helmet would look just like Fitshaced, the most intelligently-written and knowledgeable hate-zine on the web.

A Clockwork Orange
Here's one of many presentations devoted to a great book and great movie. A Clockwork Orange is important because it gets inside the mind of an intelligent predatory youth, which, depending on what you see in today's world, plagues our land... I'm pretty sure there's a "webring" associated with A Clockwork Orange, this site being your point of entry.

Forrest J. Ackerman's Virtual Ackermansion
Forrest J. Ackerman is perhaps the most important personality in 20th Century Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror arts and literature. Really? You ask. Who is Forrest J. Ackerman? You ask as well. Funny you should ask, I reply. Forrest J. Ackerman, dubbed "Greatest SF Fan," was the editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine for more than 20 years, acted as literary agent for more than 100 sf writers including A.E. van Vogt, penned hundreds of stories under various pseudonyms, promoted every single horror and sf film made since probably 1920 and he boasts the greatest collection of horror and sf memorabilia on the planet, which he shares, for free, to anyone who is interested. His collection includes a first edition of Dracula signed by Bram Stoker and every actor, including Bela Lugosi, who's portrayed the Count on film. He has personal letters from H.P. Lovecraft as well. He even answers e mail every now and then... I highly recommend you visit his site often.

The American Nihilist Underground Society
That's "ANUS-dot-com!" to you number-two's of society! If you're looking for Ph.D.-quality discussions on the history and impact of heavy metal music look no further. My impression is that half of this organization is devoted to serious, critical examination of the metal genre while the other half concentrates on unholier-than-thou finger pointing at the pathetic state in which "humanity" wallows. If people who subscribed to the tenants of ANUS were in charge of the world, the penalty for something like, say, double-parking, would be slow disembowelment. An unforgiving, humorless, Satanic, abuse-ridden site.

Lupo's Punx Pages
An exhaustive, comprehensive link to every single punk rock band with even the slightest presence on the web. Excellent coverage of all the punk sub-genres, plus great 'zine listings other sites of interest to punk rock aficionados, of all schools.

The History of the Slide Rule
From the Hewlett-Packard Company, makers of Real calculators. If you're going to call yourself an engineer, you'd better know how to use a slide rule. Devil Girl gave me a slide rule and, thanks to this site, I'm now an expert. The site has an amazing Java slide rule applet that you can use to calculate logarithms! Enjoy! Dave says: "I used my computer just like a slide rule!"

Beowulf
Here's the book that started it all! The entire text of Beowulf, in Old English. If you were forced to study it in high school or college, read it now for pleasure. If you've never heard of it, then consider yourself uneducated. It's a fun story of God-fearing Vikings helping one another by dis-arming the enemy... Read it out loud for a taste of the good old days:

Hwt! We Gardena in geardagum,
þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,
hu ða þelingas ellen fremedon.
Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum

Bert Is Evil
What you didn't know about grumpy, sober muppet, Bert. So, you thought he was just Ernie's sidekick, eh? The truth is that Bert is a lieutenant in the Illuminati and one of the chief architects of current-events machinery.

Bethesda Chevy Chase High School
I spent 10th (1978) through 12th (1981) grades here. I must admit that, while I'd like to say I hated high school, I can't. I "learned" to be independent in high school and I fell in with a really good peer group who, were actually decent to me. My childhood hatreds, which are, happily, still with me, stemmed from Leland Junior High School, which was closed in 1980 and soon after torn down (Carter was president then, not Reagan, so aim your leftist vitriol at the peanut farmer, et al) because there just weren't going to be enough students in the future to justify paying for a Montgomery County, Maryland school. Idiots. B-CC is still around, and it is not an "inner-city" school like those clowns at Walt Whitman HS would have you to think. It's still churning out deluded, idealistic, Beltway Bandit offspring, demanding to be "given the ball." The most famous B-CC product, other than Robert Gordon, is Charles Lane (1979) who went on to Harvard and now is in charge of the New Republic. I remember him as a strong athlete and genuinely decent human being.

York College of Pennsylvania
My undergraduate alma mater. Fine school. I picked up a biology degree there and have been using it ever since.

Chyna
A really great page by a really great band, Chyna. Fronted by Steve Zing, former Samhain drummer. Chyna are a real class act, fusing hard rock, goth and psychedelic music. If there's any band that deserves to be heard, it's Chyna. Check them out!

Conan the Barbarian 1
The Journey Project's Conan Links and exceptional Robert E. Howard scholarship are here on display for all!

Conan the Barbarian 2
Access to excellent pages on Conan The Barbarian, Robert E. Howard, H. P. Lovecraft and more. Some of REH's letters may be found here, too. An information treasure-trove for someone pursuing a Ph.D. in early 20th-Century fantastic literature.

Conan the Barbarian 3
Here's the 1997 TV show's official site. My personal opinion is that Beastmaster 2 would have made a better serial. Ralf Moeler is a great Conan, but, ugh, this is unwatchable.

Iggy Pop's Discography
Just in case you're interested in the 30+ years of creative output from perhaps the man who most influenced Punk Rock.

The Bible, Old and New Testaments
Here's an online KJV Bible with concordance. If you've never read the Bible and you're one of those persons seeking a career in atheism, you should at least know what you're campaigning against.

Grave's Heavy Metal LInks
An exhaustive list of links to any heavy metal band on the web. They're all here. Includes up-to-the-minute news relevant to metalheads. Plus a RealAudio metal link.

I don't like people
One day I decided to search the web using the above phrase. It yielded some interesting results.

The Kooks Museum
An amazing site featuring mad scientists, crazy people of consequence and general lunacy from around the world. The Kooks Museum is a real jewel and makes a good complement to Quackwatch

Mark Twain's Letters From The Earth
Mark Twain's classic angry tirade directed at Jehovah, proving that there's no way a "loving" God could ever have created the earth we all call home. I wrote about Letters From The Earth a few years ago in the Axe and Helmet. It's basically a diary Satan kept during the events recorded in the Book of Genesis and will challenge anyone's beliefs in "Good." From this link you will be introduced into the wonderful world of activist atheists. You may end up realizing that all religions, be they derivatives of Judaism, aboriginal Pagan earth worship or anything in between, are fairy tales to be believed by irrational children. You have been warned...

LEWIS TANNER'S HALL OF WORTHLESS SHIT
Depends on what you'd call worthless.

Moron Driver's Guide
Someone with a lot of time to vent decided to catalog the traits of bad drivers in this interactive guide. The only problem is that the bad drivers aren't going to get the point. Good for a few laughs, but you really should become uncontrollably angry because poor drivers aren't executed on the spot.

The Muppet World Order
You did know the Muppets were planning on taking over the world, didn't you? Well, here's your answer for sure.

Monty Python
The official Monty Python web site. Actual contributions from John Cleese, Michael Palin, Graham Chapman (RIP), Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, and others. Hilarious and important as the age of high-intellectual comedy is gone, in favor of sight gags played to the barely-literate masses and their pitiful disposable incomes.

Quackwatch
"Quackwatch" should really be spelled with lightening bolt bookends. The passion of Steven Barret, MD, Quackwatch is dedicated to destroying questionable medical practices from Acupuncture to Zinc Pills. The folks at Quackwatch are merciless AND they answer all your e mail. This is probably one of the most important sites available because of its lengthy histories of "alternative" medicine, quackery, and current events in quack medicine. Subjects include Glucosamine sulfate, chiropractic, fat burners and a biography of Deepak Chopra, M.D.

Home Page of Pierre Lemieux
Mr. Lemieux has a lot of time on his hands. At least enough time to make up humorous anagrams of evil people's names. "The name of your preferred tyrant or tyrant accomplice is here."

Roadrunner Records
OK, while it should be against my principles to provide free advertisement to a record company, Roadrunner's site deserves a look, if only to get Type O Negative's tour dates.

Roger Ebert
Every single film review Roger Ebert has written may be found in this gigantic achieve. Of interest to those who want to see a pretty good reviewer in action, but I still think he's a walking turd.

The Neponset Science Fiction LIbrary
Neponset.Com will be a building an online library of literary classics, listing of every sf author out there, so they say. What I really find impressive is their exhaustive biographical library. Every single sf author has at least one page. Isaac Asimov has about 200!

Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, Inc.
If you want to play by the rules, here they are. Learn how to get published and read, too!

SPIT
The home page of Mr. Vinnie SPIT, frontman for the avant fetish band, SPIT. The man plays 30 musical instruments, is an accomplished rock, electronic, classical and swing composer; he's taught high school English and he runs his own, very successful company. What does his company sell? Why, fetish videos, of course... Experiment and bother the neighbors.

The Avenger's Handbook
"Are you in need to get even with someone? If you are, or if you're just browsing for some good laughs, then this page should meet with what you are seeking. This is the home of The Avenger's Handbook and the Usenet group alt.revenge also hold a wide selection of revenge schemes, tactics and other documents related to the topic." Angry Viking Productions assumes no responsibility for jail time, fines, deaths, etc. resulting from anyone's implementation of the instructions in the Avenger's Handbook. Although, I really would like to do things to my enemies as described therein...

The Critical Thinker Home Page
Welcome to the ultimate in atheist resources. Here you'll learn that Muslims, Jews, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Shintoists, Animists, Shamen, etc., ad infinitum are all wrong. Now grow up and stop believing in fairy tales. The only reality is that you're here and you're going to die. Have a nice day.

Goblin Magazine
An Interview With Paul Mavrides. I found this fine e-zine while looking for Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers' graphics. As you know, Paul Mavrides is part of the Freak Brothers' team as well as all sorts of anti Conspiracy actions. This interview, however, presents a sober, serious look at an artist who should be well-known to everyone.

The Dickies
The first real punk rock band I ever saw was the Dickies. Since then, I've managed to see the band many times, interviewed them, bought all their records and I will defend them as the punk rock band owed the most (and they want money, not credit) from all those little flash-in-the-pan "punk" bands cashing in on "alternative music. " Justice in action: every band should cover a Dickies' song on their next album.

The Rolling Stones
The official (yes, it is) page of the Greatest Rock and Roll Band in the World. Of course they didn't bother to tell me they canceled the Syracuse, NY show before I drove the 5 hours from NYC.

The Mighty Thor
This page is dedicated to Marvel's greatest character, Thor! And it has some good pictures as well as the links to the world of Web Comicdom.

Manowar
Death to False Metal! The loudest band in metal, Manowar is secretly everyone's favorite band, next to Black Sabbath. For those not in the know, Manowar sing about muscular guys smashing their foes with swords and what not, for cash, prizes and babes.

Viz Magazine
How come you haven't heard of Viz Magazine? Because you're dead?! Out-of-control English humor that surpasses what National Lampoon used to be the best at. Vile, extremely hostile filthy humour that dumps buckets of raw sewage on people who need it. Think Trainspotting with laughs.

The Revillos
Welcome to Superville! A tribute to one of my absolute favorite bands not enough people know about! Space-age power pop and rockabilly from Scotland! Also check out the Rezillos Discography

AMERICA ONLINE: Why should you not support it? and AOL Watch
A couple of sites devoted to hating America Online. Not that that's hard to do, but these pages were put together with such finesse... My own opinion of America Online is that it's the most reliable unreliable communications system available to me. AOL is reliable because they're huge and Microsoft isn't trying to destroy them. That is, they are too big to go away, and too superfluous to be a threat. Thus I won't have to worry about fly-by-night ISPs screwing up my e-mail capabilities. The unreliability, for which AOL should be dragged over the coals, is that I can't log on during the week after 5 pm EST because all the lines are busy. Why the hell is that, eh? What is this crap?! I pay for the damn service I ought to be able to use it!

Yggdrasil: Home of the Vikings!
"Within these pages you will find a comprehensive list of Viking-related resources, as well as some basic information concerning these early Scandinavian warriors. It is Alexander Sundquist's hope that you will gain a better understanding of Viking culture and life, and that the many misunderstandings you have grown up with will be dispelled." David Lee Beowulf says, "best Viking site out there with links to real Vikings."

Sexy Ladies of the Internet
Yes, it's pathetic that I have a link to a "dirty" site on the web. Don't go here. Caveat Emptor.

National Review Magazine.
The only magazine to which I subscribe. Unless you're brain dead, everyone knows about William F. Buckley's bi-weekly journal of conservative opinion. What sets National Review apart from other so-called "conservative" (and liberal - see next link) magazines is that the editors don't pander to their contributors; you're not expected to agree with everything in the magazine. That is, the party line isn't held too tightly. Actually, the most amazing thing about National Review is their excellent sense of humor, something that one has removed upon becoming a liberal... Example: their endorsement of Netscape is through a page with links to browsers pretending to be Netscape for those needing to upgrade inferior browsers. My favorite column: Florence King's "The Misanthrope's Corner."

The New Republic
"Welcome to The New Republic Online - an online resource for readers of The New Republic, America's foremost journal of opinion since 1914." Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mom (David Lee Beowulf's Mom, Ph.D.) has subscribed to this hotbed of liberal elitism for neigh on 30 years, which can only mean one thing: I often point out the fascism of the left to mom right there in The New Republic! They pander to their idols, primarily Al Gore, Bill Gates, and higher taxes (evidence: Editor-in-Chief Martin Perez firing editor Michael Kelly for Kelly's attacks on the vice-president) and the 26 january 1998 issue's article on Microsoft, entitled "Slamming Gates," with the strange sub-heading: "If Microsoft's critics could get past their petty jealousies and latent technophobia, they'd have a pretty good case for reining in the Bill Gates empire." -I rest my case). My opinion, though, is that one needs to hear both sides and this is the most well written, typically humorless left magazine around, featuring Charles Lane as editor.

Bill's Page!
Bill Gates' page. Learn about how cool a guy he is! Discover all the neat things he's done! (Including hiring Michael Kinsely away from The New Republic -see the last link to host his on-line magazine.) What a great guy!

New York Trash
find out the latest news about the Greater East Village, New York (comprising the entire world) punk rock scene, courtesy Miss Kitty Kowalski and the folks at Coney Island High!

TESTicle PRESSure zine
Down and dirty disgusting tabloid covering the extended punk rock family. Great info on the future of rock and roll through Royalty Records, a Mike Diana Comix Site, The Iggy Pop Tribute Official Website, and the heirs to Mötörhead's throne, REO Speedealer.

U.S. Department of State HEROES Homepage
Learn why the United States Department of State honors Charlton Heston and others!

HyperCard Homepage
My favorite development application for making nifty games, animated presentations for work and fun e-documents. Another clear example of how Apple was ahead of the game by at least 10 years.

hit me!
Derek Sivers, founder of the very happy pop-funk, technology savvy, band hit me! has his own brilliant media organization to help you figure out what you want to do with your band!

Angry Viking Programme Radio Show
Surprise! I'm not alone (but I registered the angry-viking domain first and I came up with my name back in 1992, so there, nyaah!). Learn about Boston's own Angry Viking and his (yetch) classic rock radio show.

Ambrosia Software
Makers of the most addicting shareware games ever. I warn you: these games rank with Pac Man in rugged production quality, that is, Ambrosia sucessfully ported their versions of arcade-grade video games to the Macintosh (no PC versions at all). With Bubble Trouble, they've created a Pengo for the 21st century. With Barrack, they've perfected Arkanoid. With Apeiron, Centipede is cloned one better. These folks ought to be jailed like all drug pushers. And with Escape Velocity, they've outdone WarCraft for time-vampire of the century.

Leisuretown
Leisuretown contains some excellently-produced flip book stories of the harsh life people once called "Slackers" live. Some are extremely bitter, unforgiving and really mean (especially the Dilbert parody, all are extremely witty. Highest-quality graphics for this kind of presentation. Courtesy Devil Girl.

Tongue Bath
Skimgerly's TongueBath Netzine! Words from the Baltimore-San Francisco Punk Connection

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